Many people contact us because they want help in making major decisions. We never tell them what to do but try to listen, ask questions and guide them to make the decisions that will work best for them.
We all have decisions to make and often thoughts go through our minds like a hamster running on a wheel. It is easier to write thoughts down and look at your considerations. Often we work with people who are trying to decide what to do. It could be to sell a home, move to be near grandchildren, take a cruise, go back to school, take a job, retire….
Here is something to try. Take a piece of paper and divide it into 4 sections. Title the sections:
Positive to ___
Negative to ___
Positive not to___
Negative not to ___
Take a few days and begin putting comments below each heading. Add to the lists as you think of other things. The lists will often start out quite even but usually one or two lists will grow.
An example is to continue working or not to continue working (retire)
|Positive to continue working||Positive to not continue working|
|Excellent income||Time to travel|
|Can save for the future||More time for family|
|Can finish the program you had been working on||Time for hobbies|
|Negative to continue working||Negative to not continue working|
|Finding it harder to work||Will miss friends from work|
|Paying lots of taxes||Will have to be careful with spending|
|Expenses to go to work – transportation||May not know what to do with each day|
Some other examples:
- To stay in my home – positive and negative
- To move – positive and negative
- To move near grandchildren – positive and negative
- To not move near grandchildren –positive and negative
- To go on a cruise – positive and negative
- To not go on a cruise – positive and negative
- To get remarried – positive and negative
- To not get remarried – positive and negative
- To get a pet – positive and negative
- To not get a pet – positive and negative
Indecision can be exhausting. Try paper and the four sections.
A very young widow asked if she should stay in her very large home or move. She made her lists and found it very helpful to put her thoughts on paper. Several weeks later she “knew” what would work best for her. Years later she confirmed that she had made a wise choice.
If you have decided to move closer to a family member you may want to read this article: Should I Move Closer To My Family?